My dear followers...
I am going to let my heart out here.
I am having a bad night and I don't know what to do.
a lot of bad days.
The past week has been mostly bad days.
I take a handful of pills to help stave off the pain.
One pill in particular makes me feel like a human being,
but the downside is that it makes me so tired
I can't wake up in the morning.
That means I can't get up in the morning to take care
of my two year old.
He goes to my in-laws on the night before my husband
does to work, then comes home after my husband
gets off of his 24 hours shift at the fire department.
That is two nights with his grandparents,
and only one night with me.
Half the time he is home I don't really feel
well enough to play and it eats me up.
I hate it that I can't take care of my son.
To top it all off I started school online.
Thank God it is an online college so I can
"attend" when it is convenient.
I have been so incredibly depressed about this I
have done nothing but eat.
Want to know the disgusting truth?
I ate almost an entire box of Fruit Loops, like 8 bowls!
IN ONE DAY!
I just can't seem to get full.
It doesn't matter what I eat, I don't get full.
I can't stop eating and I hate it!
I don't know what to do.
I worked my ass off to lose 70 pounds and in the
past two weeks, I have gained 15 back.
I got off the scale the other day and just cried.
My whole life has just been a constant circle of
addiction and recovery.
That's another story.
But right now it is overeating.
I feel like such a failure.
I can't take care of myself let alone my son.
Without my husband, I think I would have myself
committed.
Has anyone else ever dealt with this?
Does the pain ever stop, and will
my hunger ever be satisfied.
Maybe me talking about it will make one of you feel better.
I know I can beat this,
I just don't know what there is to really beat.
I just can't stop eating.
I am so embarrassed when my husband comes home
and see all the dirty dishes and all the food that is gone.
I need a break from life.
If only for just a minute.
I pray you all have a safe and healthy life.
If you don't, I am here if you need to talk
because I could really use a friend right now.
Thank you all for being my followers.
Signing in everyday and knowing I have more friends,
it makes my whole day bright.
Goodnight my loves, and hopefully tomorrow's post
will be a little more upbeat.
Don't forget to check out the
MiniMonos giveaway!
Love to all of you!
Me