This is a horrible memory,
but I want to share it.
The only to really say it, is to be blunt,
so please be aware that what follows sucked beyond
anything I ever experianced.
I was raped by my boyfriend when I was 19.
At that moment in time, I didn't know I was
being raped.
It took me many years to be convinced that
him hurting me, having sex with me when I didn't
want it, was rape.
About 2 months ago, I was attacked in the bathroom
where I worked.
I had gone to the bar after work and had a drink.
I started talking to a guy and we realized we
had a lot in common.
He bought me another drink and we continued just talking.
I told him it was nice talkin to him but I had to go.
I went to the bathroom and he followed me.
He attacked me,
I finally defended myself when I realized what was
happening, punched him in the ribs, he snapped out of it
and left. He came back in the bathroom not 1 minute later
to say that one of my husband's friends saw him
come out of the women's restroom and told me to,
"Keep your fuckin mouth shut!"
Turned around and left.
I hid in the stall for a minute, making sure I locked it that time.
That is how he got in, I didn't have the stall door locked in all the
way.
I sat there, someone came in and I quietly asked
who it was.
It was the owner's wife.
She asked if I was ok, I said some guy had been in there
and that was it. I didn't confide in her at
that moment. I was still in shock.
I had them walk me to the car and I left.
I broke down in the pickup and went straight to the fire
department and freaked out.
My hubby made me call the owner who was my good friend
at the time.
They didn't believe me.
They said they saw the guy and there just wasn't enough time
for him to be back there.
They didn't see the first 5 or 10 minutes when he first went in the bathroom.
They only saw him come in the second time when he came
back to warn me to keep my mouth shut.
Not 2 weeks later, I lost my job.
First reason I was supposedly causing drama.
Second reason, the owner's wife thought I was trying
to steal her husband away.
Third, the drama I caused was from what they thought
were lies about being attacked.
I am needless to say pissed.
They had the guys phone number and "threatend"
to call him. I said fine, but what person who
attempted rape, would actually admit to doing so.
What bullshit.
They wouldn't give me his number.
They didn't have cameras anywhere in the restaurant or bar,
so there was no way to prove that I was attacked.
SO
I was told not to go to the police.
There wasn't anything they could do.
I want everyone to know,
if you are attacked, go straight to the police.
If they don't believe you find someone that will.
On April 20th is National Denim Day.
Here is the link to find out more.
For some reason I still cannot copy and paste into a blog post.
There you can click on the left and find out about
the men's run in high heels to bring awareness to
women being attacked.
I hope my memory can help someone.
It is the reason I am now going to school to
be an advocate for rape and sexual assault victims.
I love all of you and I pray none of you have
to do go through this.
